Love, Power, and… Self-Discipline? [Day 25]
By Nathan Lee
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)
Have you ever chosen to be upset? Even when your anger is dissipating, you still feel like you have the right to be angry. Maybe even when you know you shouldn’t be angry anymore, you still want to be. Here’s another odd question: Have you ever chosen to be sad? Something happens, and even as you start to feel normal (or even joyful), you tell yourself that you shouldn’t feel this way. Maybe it really isn’t a big deal, but you just want to stay melancholy.
I can definitely say yes to both questions, unfortunately.
I experience a frustration like no other when someone drives dangerously/poorly near me. When drivers “forget” to signal before changing lanes, drive 5-10 mph below the speed limit, or—God forbid—have no remorse when making a clear error, an inner fire starts to burn. (For the record, I’m not saying that I’m in the right for feeling this way.) But even when the situation resolves, everyone is safe, and life goes on, I’ve noticed that there are times when I just want to stay angry.
I also recently experienced disappointment: the cutest Cavapoo puppy was available until the minute before I had made the decision to buy him. A dog was never a must-have, though; if anything, I just wanted to stay sad because I felt like I just missed out on the dog, even though my girlfriend Yuna was doing all she could to cheer me up and gently knock some sense into me. I just didn’t want to feel fine immediately.
These experiences may seem trivial, but they shed light on a bigger and deeper personal issue: a lack of self-discipline. I let myself feel the initial (and rightful) anger or disappointment, but there are times when I have let myself soak in it. I admit that I lack self-discipline.
In this particular season of my life, I really believe the Holy Spirit is teaching me a different aspect of self-discipline. I would read this verse (in the ESV, it says “self-control”) and always associate it with a practice of abstaining from doing something. But what I’m learning is that self-discipline is a choice to be like Jesus, a decision to do what He would do and not what I selfishly want to do. Don’t get me wrong: Jesus feels emotions (e.g., righteous anger against the profiteers in the temple, deep sorrow when Lazarus died), so we’re not meant to be emotionless robots. However, I know I have moments throughout my day where I can choose to be patient, kind, and joyful. I can choose to stop doing x, y, and z, but it must be followed with a choice to do something else. And I have the Spirit in me to help me do just that.
Take some time to reflect and ask yourself: In what ways do I lack self-discipline? When is it hardest for me to be—to think, to feel, to act—like Jesus? Give these moments to the Lord and acknowledge them, and believe that the Holy Spirit in you will lead you to grow in self-discipline.
Prayer
Father, I believe that when I repented of my sins and made the decision to trust and follow Jesus as my Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit was given to me. The Spirit that is within me is not fearful or timid, but He is powerful, loving, and self-disciplined. Help me to live in a manner that solely depends on You and fights to do what Jesus would do. I need You, Lord, and I’m grateful that You lead me. Help me to be led by You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
