Emotionally Healthy Spirituality · Study Guide

I'm a Pastor.I Still Fight With God.

Pastor Pradeepan JeevaOctober 25, 2026Genesis 32:22–31

Big idea

We need a faith that has room for both the blessing and the limp.

Background. Jacob, whose name means “heel-grabber” or deceiver, stole his brother Esau’s blessing. Twenty years later he hears Esau is coming with 400 men. Terrified, he sends gifts ahead, prays, and sends his family across the Jabbok River, leaving himself alone in the dark.

Sermon notes

You can be doing what God told you to do and still wonder what God is doing

“This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break.”Genesis 32:24

Jacob planned, sent gifts, and prayed, and he was still alone in the dark. Pete Scazzero calls this “the wall.”

Write it downIf you go from “God, I know You can” to “God, I don’t understand why You haven’t,” you’re not alone.

Feeling God’s absence is not the same as being abandoned by God.

Wrestling with God is proof you haven’t given up

“But Jacob said, ‘I will not let you go unless you bless me.’”Genesis 32:25–26

Injured, Jacob keeps holding on. He doesn’t turn his back on God; he confronts Him face to face. God isn’t a genie, and comfort isn’t the test of whether something is from Him.

Write it downJesus promised His disciples the opposite of a comfortable life.

We ask God to make us stronger while asking Him to remove everything that requires strength.

Sometimes the blessing comes with a limp

“From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”Genesis 32:28

This time Jacob tells the truth about who he is, and God renames him Israel, “he struggles with God.” He leaves blessed, without the answer he asked for, and limping.

Write it downJacob receives a blessing without receiving the answer he asked for. You can encounter God and still walk away with questions.

Your struggle with God does not disqualify you from belonging to Him.

Key terms

Jacob: “Heel-grabber”; carries the idea of a deceiver.
Israel: “He struggles with God.” The name of God’s people.
Peniel: “Face of God.” Where Jacob saw God face to face.
Confront: Latin con (together) + frons (face): to come face to face.
The Wall: Pete Scazzero’s term for a season when old ways of connecting with God stop working.
Dark night of the soul: When God feels absent, and faith goes deeper.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Reflect & discuss

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Have you ever done what you believed God asked and still found yourself “alone in the dark”? What did that season do to your faith?
Why can feeling God’s absence and being abandoned by God feel identical in the moment?
Where might you have confused distance with peace, with God or with someone close to you?
Is your response to pain shaping you for better or for bitter right now? What would “a stronger faith and a softer heart” look like?
What have you stopped talking to God about because you’re disappointed? What would it look like to bring it to Him this week?

Also referenced: Hebrews 5:7–8 · John 3:30 · Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (Pete Scazzero) · Practicing the Way (John Mark Comer)

Closing prayer

God, I won’t let go until You bless me.

God, I don’t understand what You’re doing in my career, my family, my body, my church, or my sickness, but I won’t let go until You bless me. I’m confused. I’m hurt. I’m limping. Things didn’t work out the way I thought they would. But God, I’m choosing to hold on to You.